Friday Humor

I saw this file on my computer yesterday, buried in a folder, and had to laugh. Enjoy!

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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Texas."

And they say blondes are dumb...

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A couple is lying in bed.. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"

The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out
of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly.

She said - Well, you succeeded.

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He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
you?

She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...

Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!